


memes, dark lords, and shakesphere

by OliveYou



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Gen, Hinata is a dork, Memes, Stupid Usernames, Texting, elise should be paying attention but she's not, i don't remember much about the odyssey so sorry, i'm sad now :(, lazward still can't flirt, leo always knows, leo is the only sane person, leo knows, leo needs more friends, luna is done, oboro just wants them to stop, odin is a shakesphere nut, odin only talks weird half the time, rip lazward, sakura and leo actually read books, taken from the girl next door because i'm trash and i loved that fic, takumi is a overprotective pineapple brother, the infamous texting fic, valla is basically a video game that everyone plays, why, why did it end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8457922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OliveYou/pseuds/OliveYou
Summary: Leo and some other people who may or may not be his friends talk about books. And girls. Mostly girls.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I read this really funny texting fic (i'm too tired to find the link now but i'll find it later) and I was INSPIRED  
> so this happened. the end.

**(3:43 PM)**

**Dark Lord of The Universe created a group chat with Memes, Leo, [more…]**

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** hey

**Memes:** hiiiiiii

**Leo:** what.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** do you wanna play some world of valla or something? i’m boreddddd

**Memes:** eh. my computer is too far away

**Leo:** It’s not much fun without the whole team and Lazward isn’t home yet, so no.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** aawwwwwwww

**Leo:** I also found a good book today.

**Memes:** oh no

**Leo:** shut up, Niles. as I was saying-it’s the third book in the series and I’m liking it so far.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** what about the fights? are there fights?

**Memes:** any romance? >;)

**Leo:** no comment. and Odin, yes, there are fights.

**Dark Lord of the Universe:** OOH COOL I WANNA SEEEEEE

**Memes:** booooring.

**Leo:** that’s just because you don’t have enough brain power to understand the finer details of literature.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** yeah, you couldn’t even understand Romeo and Juliet and that’s a TRUE CLASSIC.

**Memes:** THEY BOTH DIE IN THE END

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** IT’S CALLED TRAGEDY FOR A REASON

**Memes:** THEY DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT ANYTHING

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** IT’S A WARNING ABOUT YOUNG LOVE AND RUSHING INTO A RELATIONSHIP

**Leo:** …we’ve been over this before. stop it, guys.

**Best Sister Ever:** HI GUYS GUESS WHAT

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** greetings! what exploits have you adventured upon today?

**Memes:** hey ;) what’s up?

**Leo:** Elise, aren’t you in school?

**Best Sister Ever:** maybe? aNYWAYSSSSS

**Leo:** you’re going to get in trouble.

**Best Sister Ever:** nahhhh i’ll be fine watch this!

**Best Sister Ever:** _selfie.png_

**Leo:** ELISE

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** truly courageous of you... but maybe not the best idea?

**Memes:** looking good! who’s that cute chick in the background?

**Leo:** NILES

**Memes:** what? it was a perfectly good question!

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** to be fair, she IS cute.

**Leo:** ODIN

**Memes:** besides, you’re the one who never had a girlfriend in highschool!

**Leo:** NILESSS

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** ooooh, shots fired!

**Leo:** ODINNN

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** where’d Elise go? now i’m curious…

**Best Sister Ever:** sorry- the teacher was getting suspicious, so i had to lay low for a bit. but yeah, that’s sakura! she’s nice :)

**Leo:** told you.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** er, be careful.

**Memes:** that name… does not ring any bells.

**Best Sister Ever:** …you know Takumi?

**Memes:** OOOHHHHHHH

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** DO WE????? LEO KEEPS RANTING ON AND ON AND ONNNNNNNNNNN

**Leo:** …Yes, unfortunately. That’s his younger sister? She doesn’t look too bad.

**Best Sister Ever:** yeah, she’s super sweet! nothing like that stupid pineapple jerk.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** that’s cool! so not everyone inherited the unfortunate hair genes…

**Memes:** weird hair tho. is that pink, or red?

**Best Sister Ever:** _sakura.png_

**Memes:** …reddish? eh, i’ve got nothing.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** hmmm… can’t say for sure… leo?

**Leo:** …

**_Leo is typing…_ **

**Leo:** She’s reading _The Odyssey_.

**Memes:** wh

**Leo:** Ask her where she’s in it. And what’s her favorite part? Thoughts on the characterization?

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** this is great

**_Best Sister Ever is typing…_ **

**Best Sister Ever:** she says it would be hard to pinpoint just one part, but she’s about halfway through and her favorite character is… Penelope. who’s that?

**Leo:** …

**Leo:** I think I just found someone who shares my interests.

**Memes:** OUCH

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** THE BURNNNNNNN

**Memes:** IM CRYING

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED US LEO

**Memes:** WERE YOUR BEST FRIENDS, YOU CANT JUST THROW US AWAYYYYYY

**Leo:** No, seriously. She’s nice. And she likes books. And she’s cute.

**Memes:** are you gonna date her

**Leo:** i’d like to get to know her a little more before I… make any decisions.

**Memes:** see this is why rome and julie died

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** IT’S ROMEO AND JULIET, GENIUS

**Best Sister Ever:** want her number? or we could add her!

**Leo:** WHAT NO

**Best Sister Ever:** OOH YES

**Leo:** NO ELISE I WILL KILL YOU

**_Leo left the chat._ **

**Best Sister Ever:** aww. it would’ve been fun…

**Memes:** i gtg, see ya

**_Memes left the chat._ **

**Best Sister Ever:** we should totally set them up

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** waaaay ahead of ya, sister.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if I like luna's username but i'm not thinking very well right now  
> I guess marx is like a nickname or something

**(5:06 PM)**

**BloodyHackMaster:** Marx

**BloodyHackMaster:** Maaaaaaarx

**BloodyHackMaster:** MAAAARRRRXXXX

**XanderOfNohr:** My apologies, Pieri. What is it?

**BloodyHackMaster:** what if airplanes were just giant butterflies

**XanderOfNohr:** I don’t think their wings are suited for extended periods of air travel.

**BloodyHackMaster:** aaaaawwwww

**XanderOfNohr:** But they would be pretty to look at, wouldn’t they?

**BloodyHackMaster:** YUP! i like butterflies but lazward said it was a stupid idea :(

**XanderOfNohr:** He’s just stressed, Pieri. You can be… difficult to handle sometimes.

**BloodyHackMaster:** u say that, but u never get mad at me!!

**XanderOfNohr:** That’s true.

**BloodyHackMaster:** hey, u should come over! i made ur favorite :)

**XanderOfNohr:** Thank you. I must decline this time, however. Father is visiting and I do not want to disappoint him.

**BloodyHackMaster:** ur gonna be fine. your dad is weird, but ur super cool! how could he be dissapointd in u?

**XanderOfNohr:** Thank you, Pieri. And it’s “disappointed”.

**BloodyHackMaster:** ohhhhh. thanks! ur the best teacher EVER! :D

**XanderOfNohr:** I am most certainly not, but thank you. I’ll talk later. Goodbye.

**BloodyHackMaster:** bye-bye!

\--

**Leo created a group chat with AzuraDancr, Dark Lord of The Universe, Memes, [more…]**

**Leo: o** kay, I can fit in a few minutes before dinner. My dad is coming over so it’ll be late, as usual.

**AzureDancr:** awesome, but where’s luna?

**Memes:** yeah, she’s our heavy hitter. we need her.

**Dark Lord of The Universe:** I think she said… something about a date?

**AzureDancr:** WHAAAAAT? my darling luna? DATING? somebody that’s not me? ;u;

**Leo:** don’t be so dramatic. she can date whoever she wants.

**GoddessLune:** besides, it was a bust at any rate. the guy was soooo boring, talked about numbers the whole time. can u believe it?

**AzureDancr:** my LOVE

**Memes:** oh boy. here it comes…

**AzureDancr:** Luna… we could run away together… I promise you, i am much more interesting than any banker ;) the adventures we’ll have! go out with me, Luna! <3333

**GoddessLune:**...

**AzureDancr:** …Luna?

**Memes:** …

**AzureDancr:** I still love you…

**Leo:** …

**GoddessLune:** are we playing, or what?

**Memes:** …and there it goes.

**AzureDancr:** </3

**Leo:** well, i’ll be the team leader as usual… Luna, remember your mouse.

**GoddessLune:** and what do you mean by that!?

**Leo: …** you left it at the library again, didn’t you?

**GoddessLune:**...yes.

**Leo:** …

**Memes:** …

**Dark Lord of The Universe:**...

**Memes:** well, it’s settled then. we’re all doomed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> overprotective pineapple brother takumi is best takumi

**(4:50 PM)**

**Hinnyster created a group chat with LittleFashionista, PineappleHair, [more…]**

**Hinnyster:** so guys guess what

**LittleFashionista:** no

**Hinnyster:** so takumi guess what

**PineappleHair:** when are you going to let me change my username

**Hinnyster:** idk. a few months? u lost the bet bro. you have to pay >:D

**PineappleHair:** i hate you.

**LittleFashionista:** hey so do any of u need any clothes tailored

**Hinnyster:** i’m a guy

**LittleFashionista:** good point

**PineappleHair:** i don’t have anything

**LittleFashionista:** oh

**PineappleHair:** so were u gonna say something

**Hinnyster:** oh yeah

**Hinnyster:** so i was walking back from school

**Hinnyster:** and i saw ur little sis

**LittleFashionista:** complete sentences, hinata

**Hinnyster:** right. anyway sakura was walking home with this guy i’ve never seen before

**PineappleHair:** whAT

**Hinnyster:** yeah he and her were totally tight, is she dating somebody?

**PineappleHair:** NO!!!! WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE?? SHE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT THIS!

**LittleFashionista:** geez calm down lol

**PineappleHair:** noPE

**Hinnyster:** uhhhh dude u need to chill

**PineappleHair:** WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE???

**Hinnyster:** blondie. brown eyes. looks about our age? lots of books, probs a nerd

**PineappleHair:** HISSSSSSsssssss

**Hinnyster:** they were talking and stuff

**PineappleHair:** THE TIME HAS COME

**PineappleHair:** EXECUTE ORDER 66

**Hinnyster:** yes my lord

**LittleFashionista:** u know ur sister is allowed to have friends right

**LittleFashionista:** right

**LittleFashionista:** …

**LittleFashionista:** takumi what are u doing

**LittleFashionista:** u guys better not do anything stupid

**Hinnyster:** 2 late

**Hinnyster:** if it makes u feel better i ripped my shirt


End file.
